Life sucks at the moment

In my case it has been sucking some weeks now. I haven't been able to sleep much in my nights because I just haven't been able to fall asleep so because of it I have been staying awake to 5-9am, go to sleep and woke up around 2-3pm so I haven't got that much sleep and it's a bad thing in my case if I can't sleep about 10-12 hours per night. Then last night I got myself to bed around 11:30pm because I was so freaking tired, only to wake up 30 min later when a group of fucking drunk men were yelling outside on the yard as loud as they could; "EEEE!!! OOOO!!!" and they kept doing that some time before they left. But I swear, if I would have had a gun and they wouldn't had left, they wouldn't be on this planet anymore. When I'm tried and haven't been able to sleep much in weeks, it doesn't take much to get me super angry (though when I get angry I say things what I don't mean).

And because of lack of sleep I haven't been feeling like my normal self at all. I don't have ideas, inspiration or energy to draw or write or do anything else. I just keep sitting in front of my laptop doing nothing with it either. I feel bored and tired. I'm tired of even listening those lovely songs what always cheers me up. So yeah, not good. And on top of all that is this thing ->

I bought a new male hamster (Russian dwarf hamster) in 28th of October and he is almost 1 year old. He was all scared at the beginning when I bought and brought him home. I have let him be in peace at first (just like all my other pets what I have had) in his cage so that he will get used of his new home but it have change him - to the worse. Instead of starting to become "nice, friendly and calm" he have become very aggressive. He growls at my hand and attacks on it right away and bites it seriously hard when I put my hand in the cage just to put food in his bowl. I have had MANY hamsters before him (males and females) and NONE of them NEVER hasn't been like this. NEVER! I don't know why he does that because I haven't done anything to him... I haven't try to touch him by force, taking him in my hands by force or anything else like that. Even now my hand is full of little bloody bite marks because he bites as hard as he can and it hurts. Those sharp small teeth sinking in your flesh... It feels so nasty. All what I wanted was a friendly and loving hamster, just like my previous hamsters, who I could hold and spend time with but with this hamster that won't happen. I know I should give him more time but what's the point because he only have turn more worse. If he indeed would have turn more nice, then there wouldn't be a problem.

I sent email to that pet store asking will they take him back because, honestly, mentally I'm so exhausted, tired and at the bottom because of the lack of sleep that I can't deal with this. I have been crying my eyes out of my head because of this and I can't take it anymore... I have my weak moments as well even that most of time I'm always happy and positive.

Now I just wait their reply and hopefully they will take him back. Otherwise my only option is to put him down because I can't give him to anyone else and I can't keep him myself and this kind of life isn't good or healthy to a hamster if he always needs to protect himself from a hand what even wouldn't do anything to him. I'm animal lover, I truly am, but none doesn't want to have aggressive pet who growls at you and bites you and who you cannot touch or do anything with it. It's the same if you buy a dog who keeps attacking you right away when it sees you and it bites you seriously and hard. You wouldn't enjoy that kind of pet, would you? No matter of the size of your pet, it's still shocking, in my opinion, when your pet bites you.

I think that only good thing in this month is the trip to Helsinki (I go visit my big sister and I stay there whole December and come back after New Year) if something won't ruin that either...

*********************************************

(little icons)
   

(faces)
◕ ◡ ◕

(animals)


(Onionhead)


(other)


　 ／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
　l、ﾞ ~ヽ
　じしf_, )ノ

((
( . .) ~
c(\")(\")

( \"\" /)
(◕ω◕)
(><)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My sister and my brother

Part of my friends and watchers ^w^