I'm always there for you - Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Hot mist with wonderful scents came from the hot pan as I lifted its cover mixing the boiling food in it. I hadn't cook in a long time but now that I was, it was fun and very relaxing and I could take my thoughts out from bad thoughts. I reached to spoon what I kept near by to taste the soup and it tasted quite nice but it still needed something. Meat, yes, but meat was already frying in the frying pan.

I let my hand slide on the table as I walked forward feeling what we had there. I felt bell peppers, zucchini and onions. They should do something to the food. Good hopefully. I reached to this big sharp knife as I took firm hold of it and one bell pepper, starting to chop it with steady rhythm being so deep in my thoughts that I nearly jumped when a hand landed on my shoulder.

"Oh wow, you're cooking, Leo! Nice! Can I taste it? But of course I can!"

I couldn't stop Mikey from tasting since he normally was the chef in our home so I needed his blessing to my food. Of course I should had warn him about the hotness of the food but I thought he would know food to be hot since he cooks so much. I felt something falling on the floor and heavy steps to another side of the kitchen and after a while Mikey came to me placing his hand on my shoulder again.

"AAWWLLGGHHH! HOOWWLT!!"

"You should know better than that, that the food is hot while it's boiling, Mikey. How you have managed to cook for us before not burning your mouth?"

"I haven'tttfffhh. I alwaysshh burnssh myyh mouthhhff."

"Then that's all your fault just like dropping my spoon on the floor. You could give me new one."

"Yewhh, sueffhh."

He placed new spoon on my free hand what I kept slightly reached toward his direction and I thanked him when feeling the cool steel on my skin but then I had to shoo him out of the kitchen. I didn't need him to be in a way and who knows maybe he would get hurt too.

I got back on chopping more bell peppers and I could feel Donnie coming in the kitchen to get something. He too soon came to check my cookings though.

"Leo, my calculations says you could add some whole black peppers in the soup. They give more flavor to it."

"Oh, sure if you say so. Do we have black peppers?"

Donnie left from my side only to appear next to me, giving this small bag in my hand.

"There you go, bro. They should still be quite alive."

"Quite alive?"

"You know. They aren't covered by mold yet or anything like that."

"In other words they are still usable."

"Yes. Oh, I must go! My computer is calling me!"

I had no change to say bye to him since he rushed back to his computer like a wind. Heh, Donnie was so hooked on those things but then again maybe it was a good thing. He kept our home safe and sound. I was chopping last zucchini when I felt something coming from behind me and then going back. Then it came from my behind again and went soon back.

"Raph, if you won't stop eating those slices of bell peppers I'll chop your fingers."

I felt munching mouth's movement against my cheek while a hand made its way on my other shoulder.

"Oh come on, Leo. These are tasty."

"Then why you didn't chop one of them to yourself earlier?"

He most surely took another slice before he spoke to me again, munching against my cheek once more.

"Me? Chopping or even making food to myself? Ohohoh, you have must hit your head, leader. I don't cook, I bully others to cook for me."

"Is that so? Well in that case I won't let you eat my cooking. Unless you're willing to cook for me someday."

"Hah! In your dreams, Leo."

He was reaching to take yet another slice so I had no choice but to slap him on the hand which, of course, made his pissed.

"Hmph! You're no fun... .... ... ... Leo, you're crying? Oh, come on, man. Surely my words didn't hurt you that much."

I laughed while sobbing, wiping my eyes against the backside of my hand.

"No, you empty shell. It's the onion what I just started to chop, not you."

---

Onion, huh? As much as I loved the taste of onion, so much that I sometimes ate them raw actually, I didn't like the fact they make people cry - but they only will do that if a person use a dull blade on 'em. I slowly pulled the knife out of Leo's hand throwing that old shit hang on the wall, replacing it with more sharper and newer version what Mikey had found the other day while skateboarding in the sewers while helping Donnie to place more security cameras in there.

"Try this. It's quite new and sharp. Actually so sharp I think it's better if I'll be your eyes this once."

I stepped right behind him placing my head next to his, cheek on cheek, while my hands made their ways on his hands, taking firm but gentle hold. I wanted to cover his hands with mine just in case if something would happen so I would get cut instead of him. After making sure we had firm hold of the knife I slowly started to move our hands and knife while cutting that darn onion into pieces.

---

His body against my back, his cheek against mine, his warm breathing hitting my skin over and over again, his arms on both side of my body keeping me sealed and safe while his hands were covering mine as we chopped that onion together. Heat had crawl on my cheeks while my heart was starting to race on its own and it was very hard for me to try to keep myself calm and cool.

God how low I had sink for starting to react like this toward my brother. I still blamed the tests since I never hadn't react like this on Raph or anyone else before the tests.

"You're sleeping?"

"O-oh no. No I'm not. Just got lost in my thoughts."

"Pay some attention or you can chop these onions on your own."

"Hahah, did I ever even ask your help?"

Only reply was silence since he knew I was right and he willingly was helping me. This silent moment lasted long and one again my hormones started to turn on and I couldn't make them stop. I fought against them so much and hard but in the end I weren't match for them.

"STOP!"

I felt him freezing and stopping, turning to look at me while pressing those big tender lips against my cheek once more.

"You know, you didn't need to yell like that when I'm right here. Or was your plan to make me deaf too?"

"Umm, no. I just... I think we have chop enough onions."

"Just 2."

"T-that will be enough! Just perfect!"

"Hmh, whatever you say."

And finally his hold released me as he moved away and I could sigh and relax. My hands found this pile of chopped onions which I moved in the frying pan to keep company to the meat which tasted to be ready soon. Bell peppers and zucchini pieces went in there too with few black peppers and I only cooked them for a couple of minute since the sauce was ready.

When I moved to take the pan, I was gently pushed away and the pan was taken by Raph. I liked it how he stepped in without a warning and not letting me do things. There surely was a change of me burning myself with hot boiling water but I still, kind of, wanted to cook all alone.

"What were you going to do to those boiled potatoes with broccoli, carrots and turnips?"

"Smash them very slightly. They, hopefully, make good mix with the sauce."

"I will gladly smash them, eheheehe."

I knew he would say something like that but I wasn't going to stop him so I let him smash them and then taste them first alone and then with sauce. I waited nervously his reaction and he kept me waiting... and waiting and waiting until I felt spoon hitting my lips so I opened my mouth only to taste potatoes with broccoli, carrots and turnips with nice salty flavor. He pulled spoon out between my lips gently only to press it against my lips later and this time I tasted that sweet and wonderful sauce.

"Have to admit, this is pretty damn good stuff, Leo."

"Oh, Raph, it feels like you don't know my cooking skills at all!"

"How did you even make this thing to be so delicious?"

"Umm... To be honest, I just threw everything in the pans and hoped for the best."

"Heh, it worked. Sat down, hero. I'll set the table."

---

We all were around the table enjoying our dinner chatting and having a good time and I was "translator" to Leo, like Mikey called me in these days, but I didn't mind since he sat right next to me and he always turned to me when he wanted talk or know what others had said and so on.

Master Splinter was more than happy to see his favorite smiling and talking to us while eating and it really seemed like Leo had take a huge step in recovery. None of us didn't mind about that though. While Donnie and Mikey now were finished with Leo, they took him with him somewhere so I had some time alone with master.

"Uh, Master. I have been thinking one thing."

"And what is it, my son?"

"Well, since Leonardo has been healing so nicely and well, I thought that maybe, with your permission, I could take Leo out on the roof as a little reward."

His look was strict before he closed his eyes sighing, rolling my words in his mind.

"Raphael. I understand your point and I too want to reward Leonardo for his progress but going above... It's too dangerous and it might couldn't do any good to him after all."

"Just on the near by roof, master. At the night time of course."

"No, Raphael."

"But, master, I'm not asking too much!"

"I forbid it, Raphael! Do not question my words, son."

I lowered my head as I kept my shaking fists in my lap under the table so he wouldn't see them. I honestly wasn't asking that much and I would be there with Leo so nothing bad wouldn't happen. But maybe that was the reason why he didn't let me go with Leo. Last time when we went above Leo got caught and it was all my fault.

I felt his hand landing gently on my shoulder as he stood by my side.

"Raphael, I can sense your anger but that won't help you. Like I said I understand you want to reward him and I too want to do that but maybe we can find another way to reward him safely here in our home."

"..As you wish, father."

He smiled at me tapping my shoulder few times before leaving me alone in the kitchen. If he would had stay he would have seen the fire burning in my eyes since there was no way I would listen master this time. I wanted to take Leo up on the roof and I would do that, even if father would beat me for that afterward.

-----

It was late at night already, more closer to 1am and everyone were in their rooms sleeping except me, naturally. I sneaked out of my room heading behind Leo's door and silently entering after making sure I wasn't seen. My steps took me right next to his bed in this dark room and I carefully leaned toward with reaching hand, finally touching some body part of his.

"Leo?"

Carefully my hand made some other movements shaking him slightly and soon he mumbled something with silent voice and I could hear him calling my name with whisper. I tapped his skin twice so he knew it was I which caused him to sit up rubbing his eyes.

"What is it, Raph? Is it morning already?"

I took my place next to him raising his tired hand on my lips.

"No, it's still night. Around 1am."

"Then why on Earth are you awake at this time and why you woke me?"

"There's something what I want to 'show' you. Come."

I literally pulled him up and dragged him out of the lair before allowing him to dress up and of course he wasn't happy. He was cranky and silently complaining about something with mumbling but it wouldn't help him. When he FINALLY was done I took his hand on mine, starting to lead him toward the nearest manhole. When he felt those iron ladders with his hand, he stopped.

"Raph, are you taking me above?"

"Yeah. Scared?"

"No, just worried. Does master know about this?"

"Kind of. I told him I want to take you out but he forbid it."

"What!!?? R-Raph, if he forbids something then we must obey! What were you thinking by dragging me here?! Have you no respect toward our father?!"

He was backing away but heck, I had come too far already so there were no way I would let him escape so I reached to him, taking a hold of his arm and pressing him between the ladders and I. Of course he weren't happy and those blue eyes were sparking with anger.

"Release me, Raph."

"Now you listen to me, leader. I took a change to get you out and that's what I'm going to do, even if I would have to drag you with me and even if Splinter would beat me and send me to hashi for the next 2 weeks. I understand master doesn't trust you in my care anymore outside of the lair but still. I want to take you out just this once."

"......"

"The other thing is; Do YOU trust me? Do you trust me enough to allowe me to take you above?"

"Of course I do trust you but I don't want to go and break master's orders."

"You're not the one breaking it. I am."

I couldn't believe it at first but true enough I saw a small smile on his face as he rubbed the backside of his head.

"I can't believe how easily you are able to lead me like this..."

"So you agree?"

"yeah, but we must be back at the lair before Splinter awakes."

"That won't be a problem."

That little suspicious look on his face while I turned him to face the ladders until he jumped a little with shock written all over his face.

"Don't tell me you drugged him!"

"What?! Oh come on! Even I wouldn't sink THAT low. Now move on. I don't want to stare your ass the whole night."

---

Blush spread all over my face in an instant while my heart skipped few beats as I thought;

"I wish you would stare my ass."

He gave me small pushes as a sign that I still should keep going up and of course he forgot to warn me so I hit my head against manhole's cover and it hurt. Luckily Raph had choose silent side street so I could come out without fear of being seen and soon Raph followed me, shutting the manhole taking the lead again. Another long ladders all the way to the roof and with his words we were there.

Raph made me sit behind this huge roof room thing on something soft and I couldn't stop wondering what it was.

"Are the roofs normally this soft in these days?"

"Hmh? Are you nuts? Of course not. It's a blanket. Didn't want to freeze your ass by making you sit on the cold roof."

"Awh, how sweet of you."

"Hmh. Here."

I felt something being placed in my lap and I recognized it to be sandwich. Had Raph make us some food there too?

"A little picnic for your recovery."

"A picnic... On the roof at 1am? How wonderful."

"Hey, I went through a lot of troubles doing all this just for you. You better appreciate this or I will kick your poor ass and throw you down from the roof."

I couldn't help but to chuckle to his reply. He was so serious like always but to be honest I appreciated it a lot that he had went through all this just for me. It was nice to know how my family was supporting me to recover and I say this with truth, I wouldn't be in here right now and this well recovered without them. I owned them so much.

We sat in silence as we ate and the wind had start to blow more harder as we sat there side by side. I tried to my best not to think about the wind and how cold it felt but my body wasn't lying when it kept trembling a little.

"So um... Could you tell me how the city looks like from here?"

"Huh, have forgot already?"

"Raph. Please."

"Oh fine."

I sat even more closer to him reaching my hand on his lips while resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes so I could use my imagination to see the city.
Raph described it to me as well as he was able to and he did a good job. I saw this long bridge in the distance in my mind with beautiful night lights as the buildings turned more and more bigger the closer they came and all those city lights... Ah, they were beautiful. I was happy I was still able to see things via my imagination since I missed the city and this kind of beautiful nights so much.

Another hard and cold wind went pass us which made me curl more against him and his warm body. I hadn't been outside the lair in over 3 weeks now and then all of the sudden I was here in the middle of the night so yeah, it was little bit cold for me.
Big arm with bigger and softer blanket made its way around my body and I was sealed in his arms while the blanket protected us from the wind.

I felt my heart starting to beat hard and fast like it always did around Raph in these days and I tried to hide my blushing face against his neck as I turned more and more embarrassed since my groins were tingling in very nice and strong way.

"Hey. I need to ask ya something."

"S-sure."

My heart started to turn cold since my mind kept rolling all the possibilities in my mind what he could ask.

"... Do ya have feelings for me?"