I'm always there for you - Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Gentle knock on the door before I pushed it open made master know I was entering in Leo's room where he was sitting on the floor with Leo. I was greeted with small warm smile when our master stood up coming in front of me so I bowed to him slightly before he told me to stand straight, checking my wounds.

"I'm most glad you didn't got more seriously injured, Raphael. However I wish to you see you in my chamber after you have talk to your brother since I too want to know what happened between the two of you. Leonardo told me his version so I need to hear yours too."

"As you wish, master."

Another small smile before he took last look of his favorite, leaving us alone in the dark room what was light up with few candles. With few longer steps I was in front of him looking down at him while he hanged his head down. I couldn't believe how he had changed since his time in the lab and it started to piss me off to see him so sorry all the time.

"Stop being so pitiful. That's annoying."

My knee met gently with his chin from beneath lifting his head up, getting his attention. He now held his head up so I knelt down on my other knee, taking firm hold on his cheeks staring into those eyes. I waited him to make his move and lift his hand on my lips but instead he opened his mouth and asked;

"Aren't you afraid of me?"

Why the shell? Those green fingers pressed gently on my lips after my guidance before I spoke.

"What? Are you nuts? Why the hell I should be afraid of you?"

"You forgot?! I att--!"

"Leo. If you seriously would attack on me like that on purpose, I swear, I would rip you out of your shell with my teeth if I must but since that attack was something what you didn't do or were able to control, it means nothing to me."

His mouth opened but I stopped him before he could say anything.

"Secondly, stop being so fucking pitiful and miserably and STOP being sorry. I swear if you say sorry even once, I'm going to hit you so hard on the face that your nose turns inside of your head."

He most surely weren't expecting such words from me since he looked a bit hurt and confused but it was my job to support him and make him have his head clear again. Even if I would have to use harsh language like this.

"Leo. You're our leader. We need you calm, assertive, steady, wise, feet on the ground but also head high proudly. So stop feeling sorry since you only make all of us feel sorry for you and that's not how this family will stay together."

He still was rolling my words in his mind so I gave him one more sentence to think about.

"You have done nothing wrong."

His eyes opened as wide as they could and he looked surprised but soon his expression started to turn more gentle and calm, understanding even. His eye lids hid those blue eyes from my gaze as he pressed his head down so little with warmer small smile while his left hand landed on my right hand's wrist, taking firm but gentle hold.

"Thanks, Raph. I needed to hear all that, specially that I haven't done nothing wrong."

"That's why I'm here, bro."

His silent 'hmh' filled the room for a moment before his fingers were traveling on my lips but they stopped suddenly when they made contact with bandage of mine what Donnie had placed on the cut on my lip.

He hesitated for a moment before letting his fingers touch the bandage carefully, surely exploring how wide and tall the bandage was. That way he could figure the size of the wound.

"How deep I cut you?"

"Not deep enough."

Much for my surprise he made a little laugh before saying a word what I told him not to say.

"Sorry. I know you hate me now for saying that but I had to apology, just once. I ruined your pretty face."

"Actually you made me much more badass looking. Donnie said this will leave big, deep and visible scar so I'm excited to see it when it's healed."

"Hmh, you're so weird at times, you know that. How's the other cuts?"

"They leave scars too but hey, they fit well together with my broken shell."

It's amazing how suddenly, with a blink of an eye, emotion and expression can change on his face. He was surprised and slightly shocked as he took firm hold on my face, pulling my face right in front of his.

"Y-your shell's broken!? How? When?"

I took his hands in mine removing them off on my cheeks as I leaned more forward pressing my lips against his forehead.

"Don't worry, leader. They are old injuries already."

He pushed me away pressing his fingers on my lips, looking at me with strict and demanding look in his eyes.

"The truth, Raphael."

I always found it to be kind of amusing how he used my whole name, instead of Raph, when he was serious with me. It just made a weird little spark in me turn more brighter and stronger.

"Fine. I lost a piece of my shell near by my left shoulder."

His hand left my lips slowly sliding to study the injury but that sigh what he made, relief. He was relief to feel it wasn't more bigger than that but I had another, bigger, damage on my shell. I told about it to him and he ordered me to turn around as his hands made their ways on my wide and big shell.

"Gosh, Raph, what have you done and where you have been? You have so much duct tape all around your shell."

His hand made its way on my lips over my shoulder before I gave him my answer.

"Just little damange while training, nothing more. I asked Donnie to tape them so they wouldn't spread."

"... How about this big area here? You have lost very big part of your shell."

"... It came back then when Donnie, Mikey and I came to rescue you. There was a guy who managed to surprise me with a shotgun and he shot right behind my back. Of course if I wouldn't had damage my shell earlier by crashing through the door that shot couldn't have break my shell."

"You got this while--- saving me?"

"What? You don't like it? It's a cool memory."

I saw him smiling a bit over my shoulder and he just accepted my injuries like that which was very good. I turned around moving a bit closer to him placing his hand on my lip again.

"Leo. Now that we got into this conversation, I have to tell you something about the lab where you were."

------------

When he said those words my heart turned cold and I could start to feel how cold sweat rose on my skin slowly. I didn't want to think about the place nor hear about it but now that he had mention it, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

"We haven't told you this since we didn't want to slow down your healing progress but I think it's important for you to know this. That lab was destroyed. It doesn't exist anymore, Leo. You don't need to worry or fear those guys would come to get you back."

D-destroyed?! How?

"Explain."

"Well, let's just say Mikey took very good care of that place with the missile what we had in our Battle Shell. Of course we did some rampage in the lab too breaking whatever we could while saving you."

Of course. I should have known my brothers would smash and break anything what they could, specially then if Raph would be in charge... Wait a minute...

"Raph? Were you, by any change, in charge of my rescue mission?"

I felt this wide smirk on his face and I had my answer. Well then it indeed wasn't anything weird that the lab went boom. But I was relief to hear that. All the evidence about my existence were now gone, all my blood tests, photos. Everything... except...

I swallowed hard when my hold got more tight on Raph's hand and I felt the energy changing in the room.

"I need to say one thing, but promise me you won't tell about this to anyone."

"Your secret goes in the grave with me."

... Well, he didn't need to say it exactly like that but I accepted it. I swallowed hard while trying to find my voice again.

"I told you about the fact that they did some sexual and breeding tests on me... Well, they actually managed to get one female turtle... pregnant. You know. But still her pregnancy kind of failed. I think my mutated gene was too much since her eggs were empty - except one. There was small baby turtle but it was weirdly mutated and dead which I was very happy about. No clue what they would had done to it if it would have survive."

I kept a little pause calming myself down some more and also giving Raph a change to comment something but instead he sat there all silent, keeping his serious and strong gaze on me. I could feel his stare all the way to my bones.

"So... since that breeding test failed they decided to use real human woman instead."

In this moment I felt Raph's energy to jump and turn very powerful and piercing, like a huge spike. I knew he would soon be struggling with his temper.

"Did they force you to sleep with her?"

"Thank God no. I couldn't have done it plus I was under the effect of heavy drugs since they kept me dangerous being. Instead they just... took my sperm and gave it to her one way or another. I don't know the details and I don't even want to know."

"..... So how it all ended up?"

I sighed deeply as I swallowed hard again wetting my dry lips with tongue's simple lick.

"She got pregnant. What I was told she was horrified which I can understand and I can't blame her a one bit. But now, if she's still pregnant, there's a change that she will give a birth to a mutant..."

"To your child."

"I don't want to think it as my child, Raph. It's... just sick and too much for me."

"...How did she look like?"

"I was allowed to touch her face once with one hand while still being under heavy drugs, after everyone came to congrats me of becoming a father. She had short and little harsh hair just under hear ears and she had big glasses, ball shaped face and small nose. Why?"

He was silent a while before he spoke.

"Leo... If there was no others who looked like that then she was at the lab when we came in to save you. However, when we were leaving and I looked behind, I saw her laying on the floor in blood. She most surely got shot in the fight. But if she didn't die then, she and most surely all the others died when we exploded the place."

I stayed quiet as I thought his words carefully. I know it's horrible to say but if she indeed was dead, I was happy and relief. She only would have end up facing an horrible, unaccepted world with her mutant child. The same life what I face everyday and I wish that kind of life to no one.

"... I hate to ask but did they do something else too?"

"Hmh? Oh, that. Just taking measurements about my private part in normal state and while having erection, collecting sperm and stuff like that."

"They never made you sleep with anyone or anyone didn't try to do the same to you?"

"No. From that part I was safe, luckily."

"... How do you know all that? You were deaf and blind already."

"There are good people out there, Raph. Even one in as horrible place as in the lab. This one young man sneaked to see me at nights and he wrote on my arm while we spoke. He told me a lot of things about my tests and stuff but I think he got caught since he suddenly stopped visiting me at nights and I never heard or felt him after that. I think his boss got riddle of him in the old way, you know."

I'm sure he knew what I meant and I could sense his temper rising since his body turned more stiff and his anger, negative energy, was turning more powerful so I landed my hands gently on his starting to stroke them while having smile on my face.

"Raphael. Thanks for listening and not judging me. I'm so glad I have you here with me and for me."

"Don't give me that shit, Leo. You have Splinter here for you since you're his favorite."

"That maybe true but still there are things what I can't tell to him. Things such this. This would be way too much for him to hear so that's why I told this to you since I know you are more than capable of handing this and that's why I thank you."

----

He got on his knees bending toward me placing a gentle kiss on my forehead which made me feel a bit uneasy.

"Eeww, Leo. Come on. Boys don't kiss each others heads."

"You say eww when I kiss your head but then you can kiss MY head without making any eewws. Or do you always run in the bathroom to puke and wash your mouth when you kiss my head?"

A little laugh escaped from both of us even that we both were trying our best to stay as serious as possible but I took this as a good sign. He felt so much more lighter and happier already after opening up to me and at least we now had a secret what we both shared with each other. What combined us.

"Leo, since you confessed such thing to me I need to confess something too."

"Hmh?"

"While you were gone... I spend my nights in your room, sleeping on your bed. I couldn't stop blaming myself for screwing up the mission, losing you and worrying about you."

"Ahaha, awhh. You big baby. Come here, teddy bear."

T-TEDDY BEAR!? I was about to lecture him good but when his body pressed against mine, his hands wrapping behind my neck and his face rubbing gently against my shoulder and neck... Damn, I couldn't stay angry. I let my face hid against his shoulder and neck while my hands made their way on his back.

"Raph, believe me when I say this since I say this from my heart. I'm so happy and thankful I have such wonderful family and so wonderful brothers, specially you, Raph. Even that we argue and fight I still can count on you and I love you."

"O-okay, stop right there. No 'I love you' nonsense to me. It makes me sick."

I felt his smirk against my skin as he rubbed his face more harder against me.

"But I do love you." His movement slowed down more and more and it seemed like a little desperate whisper when he spoke again; "I love you so much."
Damn it... I held him more tighter releasing my deep sigh on his skin.

"Love ya too, bro. But don't expect me to say it more often since I say it once and I expect you to trust on it the rest of your life."

"Hhmhmh, I won't. Every now and then is good."

"Hmh, every now and then my ass."

His hold released me with a laugh as he sat down in front of me on the floor keeping his eyes open. I didn't like that look though.

"What's moving in your mind?"

"I was thinking what I could cook for all of us."

"Hahaha, Leo, don't make me laugh. You? Cooking? We only would end up finding parts of your fingers in our food."

"Hey, I may be blind and deaf but I can still feel."

"Just kidding, bro. Cook whatever you like." I stood up helping him on his feet too. "I need to go to see Splinter now. He told me to come to see him in his chamber after talking to you. He wants to hear my version about this morning's happening."

"Then go. It's rude to make him wait more longer."

"Hmh, fine. I'll meet ya in the kitchen later. If you haven't chop yourself in the food that is."

"Watch that tongue of yours or I chop it off from your mouth and then add it in the food."

I answered on his smirk with mine as we started to head toward the kitchen. I wanted to escort him there to make sure he would be fine before I went to meet our master, telling him my point of the happening between Leo and I.