I was allowed to remove gauze away from my feet / little toes today (and place cloth tape on them) and when I saw my first little toe, I had to stop since I felt a bit shocked. I stared my little toe thinking; “…Did they chop the head off?! What was the point to stiff my toe straight if they cut the head off?” but when I cleaned that dry blood away I saw my toe’s nail and sighed in relief. They didn’t chop the head off after all! :’D But my little toes are swollen which isn’t surprise, there’s dry blood and they look SO FUCKING SHORT! :’D In the note from surgery doctor was a part what said; “Saw some weave off of the toes.” so I don’t know did he do it inside the toe… I doubt this tho a lot. But I know he saw / removed those hard skin “balls” off from outside of little toes.
In next week’s Thursday I can get stitches removed in hospital and then the healing can keep on going <3 I’m very happy that the pain in my toes has start to calm down too but now there’s that damn stinging itching feeling when any cut / wound is healing and I can’t scratch it! >__<
I'm alive and well! Surgery went nicely and smooth! I was taken in the surgery at 8:15am and I was let out at 8:45am (one toe took like 10 minute and then some talking etc.). Nurses and doctors were SUPER nice and lovely happy persons! <3 I was awake the whole time and could see from the ceiling glasses what they did and I was excited xD After surgery I was taken in recovery room where I slept about 5 hours while waiting feeling coming back to my lower body since my body was made dumb from waist below before surgery. I slept about 45 minutes last night and those 5 hour sleep was more than welcome but I STILL feel so freaking tired and a bit sick… I think it’s because of those medicines what I got and they can effect the next 24 hours. I don’t like this slight dizzy and sick feeling but no can do. Also my left little toe has bleed some so I need to keep my eyes on it. It won’t be good thing if it keeps bleeding.
It's early night now already and after coming home I ate a bit and took a medicine and damn, how sick it made me feel so I couldn't finish my food until later. I slept on the couch an hour (waking after every 5 min tho since mom kept keeping making sounds next to me). About 1,5 hours ago I took another pill and it made me feel sick and dizzy instantly too as well as so very fucking hot, sweaty and tired! -____- Now I try to stay awake couple more hours so I dare to take some pain medicine and can sleep. But I'm happy since there haven't been swelling or pains so much. Only very light stinging at times but that's okay. I can't wait to see my straight little toes after 3 days when I can remove first gauze and use "skin tape" just on / around my little toes. One thing what I hate is walking with the help of those "elbow sticks" (don't know their real name in English) since my balance is horrible and I need to try to walk on my heels while taking support with elbow sticks and I swing from side to side like a drunk person even that I'm wearing special shoes :'D
But despite feeling very damn tired all the time because of medicines (I even now just could fall down sleeping) I'm happy. I felt no nervousness or fear in any moment before, during or after the surgery etc. I'm very happy I did this, I finally got this chance etc.
But... perhaps I still try to take one painkiller at least and go to sleep since I feel freaking tired. Also mom should had been here with me, in her place, the next 24 hours but she was so tired too and there's no way I could sleep on the floor on mattress or let my mom sleep on there too so I told her to go to sleep to her friend's place which is like 2 minutes car drive trip away :'D So if anything happens (which I believe won't) she's close to help AND between mom's and her friend's place is a hospital so I have professional help near too if needed xD
Now slowly to toilet, will take painkiller and go to bed ~
Thank you all for your support! <3